He speaks

Let me just start off by saying GOD IS SO GOOD! He really is! Everyday I stand amazed at how much He really loves me. How much He really does care! No matter how many times I mess up (All day Every day), He still accepts me, blesses me, and gives me the world!

This past weekend I experienced some awesomeness. It was one of those things that is just so bizarre and perfect, that there’s no way to explain it, except to point at God. Before I tell you about that, let me give you a little bit of background info.

I’m the type of person who loves serving. I’m always eager to do whatever God has for me to do next, I always want to make sure that I’m doing things for His Kingdom, and that I’m not just sitting idle doing my own thing.

So, within these last couple of weeks God has asked me to drop just about EVERYTHING, like the Christian club I created and led, my leadership role in Kid’s Church, I quit one job to start my real job full-time, and then I was let go, and it goes on and on. I did it and trusted Him, but I still went a little crazy, because I had no clue what He was doing. I like to be in control, and sometimes I forgot who’s really in charge. So of course, I start to take things into my own hands, and put some busyness back into my life. I began to consider joining the worship team at my church, since I had so much more free time. I started talking to my youth pastor and his wife about joining.

I prayed about this for weeks. I wanted to know that this was definitely something that God was leading me to commit to, instead of just jumping right into it. At first, I was at peace about the whole thing, just waiting for God to speak His mind. Then as weeks went by I began to become anxious, and started having doubts about whether I’ve ever really heard God speak to me, and I would second guess all the thoughts I had about making a decision, because I didn’t know if it was God or just me trying to speed things along. So complicated.

Finally, I just asked the youth pastor’s wife if I could just try out, and maybe sit in on a couple sessions, to see how it felt. I told her that God still hadn’t made anything clear, and a lot of times when I just start doing something, I’ll know if it’s what I’m supposed to be doing or not.

The day right before we were supposed to talk about it again, I was heading to a Matt Gilman worship set, with my mom. My mom and I were just talking about random life stuff, nothing that was related to the worship team, when a thought suddenly cut through all my other thoughts. The words were so clear in my mind, and I just knew with everything in me that it was God. He said, “Jessie, I dropped all of these things out of your life for a reason. I want you to be available.” All it took was God speaking, and my chaos turned into understanding and peace. Every time I think about it, I just want to do a happy dance. GOD IS SO GOOD!

Now that I know what God wants this season to be for me,  I’ve been trying to figure out what being “available” means. One thing that happened a while ago, was I kept getting the name Hannah* in my head. For several days, this girls name continued popping into my head. So finally, I said, “Ok, God, I hear you! I’ll reach out to this girl!”

I’ve only met this girl one time, and it was almost a year ago. She was super sweet, but still a complete stranger. We both followed each other on Instagram, so I messaged her and said,

“Hi Hannah*! So I know this is completely random and you don’t know me at all, but I feel like I’m supposed to get to know you. I don’t know how or when, but your name just popped into my head, and I have this strong sense that we’re supposed to be friends, and that our friendship would bless one another.  So if you’re interested in meeting up sometime my number is ‘insert numbers here’ : ) If this freaked you out I apologize, Jesus asks me to do awkward things sometimes, so yeah, here I am.”

Now, this is not like me to just put myself out there like that. I hate the feeling of being rejected, so a lot of times that stops me from doing all the things I could.

Anyways… Hannah* texts me a couple hours later and says, ” Hey girl! It’s Hannah*. Don’t worry, your message wasn’t freaky, your obedience to The Lord is awesome 🙂 this is crazy, I’ve been praying for Christian sisterhood. I would totally be interested in meeting up sometime soon!”

I was blown away by her response. She actually PRAYED for Christian sisterhood and then BOOM, God tells me to talk to her.

So my awesome experience from this past weekend was when I finally got to meet up and have lunch with Hannah*.

The entire lunch time was such a blessing! We could’ve probably talked for days. We are both introverts, which if you’ve read my blog titled, “Small Talk? No Thanks”, then you know why that is such a big deal for me. It basically meant that from the get go, we were open with one another, we shared our life stories, our struggles, our joys, and even things that we’ve only shared with one or two people.  Several times we had to stop talking and just sit in awe of how alike we were. The similarities in our thought processing, character, and many other things, was just astonishing! Can you see how awesome God is? He took two people. Strangers. Brought them together and formed a heart connection. He knew that we’d be good for one another. Only God could do something this amazing, and find someone so specifically in tune with me. It’s just absolutely CRAZY!!

My advice to you is this, when you hear some kind of crazy urging inside of you to reach out to someone or something related, DO IT! Step out and be bold! You never know what’s in store.

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*name changed for anonymity

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