Lately I’ve been asking myself and God this question: If my life doesn’t look much different from how it looks right now in 25 years, is that okay? Is it okay that my life is simple and not grand or extravagant? Does my life have to look like constantly searching for the next thing? Because I’m kind of tired of feeling the pressure to be more or want more.

If I work the same job and live in the same city for the rest of my life, but I am faithful and diligent with everything I put my hands to, is that enough? Is the Lord okay with that? Am I okay with that? If I can be honest, it’s not where I expected my life to go.

Most of my life, I was prepared to pack my bags and move to another country because I thought that’s what the Lord was calling me towards. Truly, since the age of six, I grew up telling people I was going to be a missionary, and I felt so confident in that call. I had no idea where I was going but knew that I felt so inspired by people like Amy Carmichael, who saved hundreds of children from forced prostitution in the temples, and Elisabeth Elliot, who ministered to the very tribe that took her husband’s life. There’s even Katie Davis, the missionary who ended up moving to Uganda when she was 18 years old and fostered, then adopted, 13 girls—all on her own!

These courageous women followed the Lord into scary circumstances and led people to the Lord and gave so many people a safe haven from dangerous situations. I’m truly in awe. So, now looking at my life, where the Lord had me go to college (when I didn’t want to at first), and then He led me into ministry full-time at the local church (when I also didn’t want to at first), and now I’m seven years into full-time ministry and I know that this is where the Lord has me, yet it doesn’t mean I don’t still think about this passion He has put in my heart for children in vulnerable situations.

I live in a city that is small, but very transient. People are moving all the time. They graduate college or grad school and move on to the next school or job. Every year, we call it the “Great Exodus” because we say goodbye to so many people. At times, it can stir up a restlessness within me when it feels like I’m getting left behind and everything in my life stays pretty much the same. Sure, there’s new faces, some new circumstances, but the baseline is pretty much the same. Same city, same restaurants, same job, same routines.

I guess the question I’m really asking is how to be content when faithfulness looks like staying still?

Because I know that faithfulness also can look like going. I mean, that’s how I got to this city in the first place. The Lord said go, and I went. Now that I’m here, I want to stay, but for some reason feel like I should want something more than what life currently has to offer. Is it wrong that I want to be so incredibly rooted here that this is a place I eventually spend more of my adult life than I ever did in my hometown? I want to settle in and take my shoes off. I want to build a life here and hopefully even start a family here if the Lord has that for me. I desire to be a person who is faithful, dependable, and not floating around on the wind of my every whim.

I don’t want staying in the same location to ever equal complacency. I don’t want to ever hold so tightly to my life that I’m unwilling to let go of it when the Lord pulls me a different direction. But that shouldn’t mean that I’m not able to be planted in the ground, growing and evolving in the place where I currently am.

What does this middle ground look like? This idea of living in the land of following God wherever He calls, but not looking so far off into the horizon that you miss the gift of the life right outside your front door? I want to live my life so open and invested in the people around me that if/when the Lord ever takes me elsewhere, it hurts to say goodbye.

But what if my only aspiration is to love God and love people? I mean it. What if that’s it? What if I never write a book or start a business or win any awards or learn an instrument proficiently? What if I never do anything that gets high recognition? I’m not saying that having or doing those things is wrong, but rather, have I done something wrong if I don’t achieve any of those things in my life?

What if faithfulness is extraordinary because it’s actually so incredibly ordinary? Some might even say boring at times.

Earlier this year, I was sitting in a restaurant with my pastor and a coworker, and my pastor asked us what our five-year goals were. The question kind of stumped me, if I’m being honest. The only thing I could say was that moving to this city and working at a church that I knew I wanted to be rooted in was already an answered prayer and dream fulfilled, so I hoped in five years I would still be working there. Then I pondered out loud, “What if the most I ever want out of life is just what I already have?” The only other thing that I do still deeply desire is a family… but if that’s not what the Lord has for me in the traditional sense, then what more could I want? My life will continue to look like finding family in the brothers and sisters in Christ around me.

What do I already have? I have a church that I love, a church that is going in a direction that inspires me and excites me and has people in it that I find great joy in shepherding. I have friends who tell me the truth, encourage and rebuke me, and show up for me when I need them. I have a family that loves to have a good time together and makes a way to do that even when we’re far apart.

In this life, I want to know people deeply and cultivate a life filled with laughter, honesty, and growth. I want to wake up and go to sleep thanking God for all of the simple beauties and joys in every day. I want to settle down in the right ways in a place–to be a regular face so I can intentionally know the people around me. That looks like having a favorite coffee shop, and a place I like to go on walks, and eating at my favorite Thai restaurant all the time so the servers know my face when I walk in the door. This is the small stuff that makes life sweet.

Over the past several years, I have moved one to two times a year…. I’m not kidding. So, I know what it feels like to be transient myself, yet this desire to be steady and faithful wherever I am comes from a history of working in churches with a lot of staff transitions. I have witnessed firsthand the effect of that on multiple congregations, and when I leave a place I long to leave it well. In the meantime, I want to know a congregation through many seasons of life. There’s an intimacy that comes from knowing people over many years, so if my goal is faithfulness and longevity in the church where I work, then that ultimately requires me to settle more deeply into life in one place.

Per usual, I don’t really have a lot of answers here. This is something I’m still praying about and pondering with the Lord. My hope is that my inner world gives you a little bit of hope or camaraderie in the place that you are. I can say for certain that God is so good and kind to lead the way, so we can trust that He will show us how to live each of our days to His glory…and who knows, maybe tomorrow He’ll say, “Go!”